Monsters of Rock:
My Voyage

There are two weekends in my life where I have been so excited I could barely contain myself. The first was last November, the weekend of my wedding, and the second starts tomorrow when I fly down to Ft. Lauderdale to board the maiden voyage of the Monsters of Rock Cruise.

Here’s the brief itinerary: The cruise kicks off with a black-out group photo at 6pm where everyone is encouraged to board the ship wearing all black; awesome. Then we jump right into the metal. What better way to sleaze up the evening as the ship pulls away than to witness the Sunset Strip greatness that is Faster Pussycat taking the stage at 6:15.

But we are just getting started.

Up next, it’s my choice of either Tesla or Cinderella—and I’m taking Cinderella as they are the hair metal version of CCR in my book of awesomeness. Right when Cinderella finishes up, it’ll be just in time to catch the terribly underrated Bang Tango, then run over to catch the last few songs from Firehouse.

But that’s not it, I will have to spring over to catch Keel and then finally finish off the night with Flametal—that’s right, metal on the flamenco guitar. Oh, and that’s just the first day.

It all begins in Fort Lauderdale, FL sailing aboard the MSC Poesia, destination Nassau, Bahamas, and Key West. This epic event will feature some of the greatest artists of the era, including Telsa, Cinderella, Night Ranger, UFO, Kix, Stryper, Firehouse, Y&T, Lynch Mob, Helix, Eric Martin (Mr.Big), Keel, Black n Blue, Faster Pussycat, John Corabi, Bang Tango, Rhino Bucket, XYZ, Odin, Flametal, DC4, Atomic Punks, and Motley Inc. This is much more than a “Concert Cruise” event—it is a fantasy camp for metal fans that I will surely remember for the rest of my life.

On to day number two. I will wake up Sunday morning for a “Drunk Diet Workout” with Luc Carl (see below), then head to church hosted by a live performance from Stryper. Then it’s Kix in the afternoon, then a bit of Night Ranger, Y&T, and a second night of Cinderella. I could watch Kix and Cinderella every day, twice a day for at least two weekends.

Lady Gaga’s ex boyfriend and author of The Drunk Diet, Luc Carl, will be in charge of fitness. Carl claims he lost 40lbs while drunk and can teach you can do the same. He is also the DJ on SiriusXM’s Hair Nation and Boneyard, two of my favorite all-time stations, and I look forward to meeting this guy for sure. His book is in stores next month and you can follow him on Twitter for incredibly entertaining updates. (He has 104,000 followers!)

Author, syndicated radio personality, host of my favorite show VH1’s That Metal Show, and all around good guy Eddie Trunk will also be on board to emcee several events. Metal fans love this guy because he’s a real music fan that we can all relate to. He’s not flashy, not pretentious, just one hell of a knowledgeable guy who loves metal for all the right reasons. This is another guy that I would love to grab a beer with.

So, how do I prepare for an event of epic proportions such as this? Vinyl from my personal collection has been cranking all week long. These are lost classics celebrated by a dedicated but small community of metalheads who long for a time when rock ‘n’ roll dominated MTV only to be outdone by the flamboyance of its leads. Big hair, hot chicks, good times; it was a simpler time.

Stay tuned next week to see which artists I run into who are willing to chat with me about and answer a few questions. Ideally, that would be Helix, Bang Tango, Faster Pussycat, and Cinderella, just in case anyone from the band happens to stumble upon this post before we cast off. I will also have my Nikon D7000 everywhere I go to document as much of the metal and fun as possible.

How would you prepare for such a voyage? Can anyone recommend a good vitamin that will guard my liver for the next three days?

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7 comments
Evisa777
Evisa777

OMG! You are going to have a blast! I wish I knew about this! Great blog! Have a drink for me! Take lots of pics and say hello to one of my favorites Tom keifer!!

April
April

I will personally beat you if you do not include the amazing John Corabi on this list and of course our friend Robbie Crane bassist for all those in need ~ lol

Dezarae
Dezarae

You need to take calcium and b-12 in the morning. Calcium repairs your liver. _dez

Evisa777
Evisa777

You have to see Tesla too!! I caught them at Pops in St Louie like 2001 I think. It was an amazing show... Corrina

JasonMillerCA
JasonMillerCA

 @Evisa777 Thanks for the comment! I am going to take thousands of pics so look for a full recap coming soon!

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