I’ve seen some crazy sh*t when it comes to heavy metal and punk rock shows, but nothing could prepare me for the insane show that Gwar brought back to the Regency Ballroom last week. The scumdogs of the universe delivered an insane tribute to Gwar’s late frontman, Oderus Urungus (Dave Brockie) who passed earlier this year.
It’s called the “Gwar Eternal Tour 2014” and it’s the christening of two new members who share lead vocal duties— Michael “Blöthar” Bishop and Kim “Vulvatron” Dylla. Blothar is some sort of viking warlord with a set of six udders that shoot out multiple streams of blood simultaneously, while Vulvatron is sort of a hot, punk rock chick who decapitates monsters and shoots blood out of her breasts. Now, I’m getting ahead of myself here.
Let me backtrack a bit and do my best to try and explain the absolute mind-f*ck of a story that unfolded before me while I was constantly dodging stage divers, enormous amounts of fake blood, and giant spurts of space jizz.
The show opened with Gwar’s longtime manager, Sleazy P. Martini announcing that Oderus is missing. Then Oderus appears inside of a mirror flying through space and time riding on an asteroid. A monster in a “SECURITY” T-shirt is gorily decapitated right before Blothar appears from behind a magic mirror. After a short battle with some sort of slave dude, Blothar declares himself the new lead singer of GWAR. Then he begins to douse the crowd with an enormous amount of blood spurting from his udders. But wait, it gets better.
A female alien called Vulvatron materialized and rips her top open to spray the audience with fake blood from her breasts. Then someone orders pizza delivered by a monster with eight breasts, who gets decapitated by Vulvatron as she’s smiling away and thoroughly enjoying her new role with the band.
Next up, Oderus Urungus’ penis appears through a time and space portal and starts to ejaculate green slime onto the audience. After which the band smokes a giant crack rock using an oversized syringe while continuing their search for Oderus. I can’t make this stuff up, folks.
But what about the music you ask? The setlist included songs from the band’s 30 year catalog, pulling Gwar classics from my favorite album Scumdogs of the Universe, as well as memorable favorites from America Must Be Destroyed, This Toilet Earth, and Carnival of Chaos.
The night ended with a woman being fed to a grinder during the band’s punk rock cover of the Pet Shop Boys “West End Girls.” As unreal of a story this is, it really happened folks. This is the stuff that rock ‘n’ roll legends are made of—well, sort of. It’s definitely worth your time if you are a fan of heavy metal, punk rock, horror films, and nightmare scenarios that make Marilyn Manson look like Mr. Rogers.
Bottom line: everyone should witness at least one Gwar show in their lifetime, I have seen two. Long live Gwar—and all hail Oderus. Check out hi-res photos in the gallery here.
