Graded on a Curve:
The Bats,
Free All The Monsters

When it comes to pure pop pleasure: jangly melodies, catchy hooks, and the sublime charm of an enchanting drone, it’s hard to beat New Zealand’s The Bats. Turn on one of their songs, and you can be relatively certain you’ll be lulled into an auditory state of Satori, sorta like your ears, and bear with me here, are both lying back in beanbag chairs, toking on a hookah filled with the sheer joy of being alive.

Or I don’t know, maybe that’s overstating the case. But that’s what happens to me. Since 1982 the same four band members have been casting chiming musical spells that will never bum you out. In short they’re a friendly bunch, and want your ears to be happy, and will do whatever it takes to keeps you, dear reader, coming back for more. Robert Christgau has defined their essence as “wispy tune buoying flat drone,” but such minimalism does the band a large disservice; I mean, I don’t disagree with the guy, but The Bats do so much more, and it’s impossible to describe the joys they proffer in a mere pocket definition.

Why, The Bats are so friendly they even want to free all the monsters, as they let us know on the title track of their 2011 release “Free All The Monsters”: “they’ve had enough trials and tribulations,” sing Robert Scott and Kaye Woodward to the beat of a dreamy and infectious melody. Even the guitar solo is happy, and I love the soaring sound of Scott’s guitar, but it’s the vocals that make this one so wonderful. Equally exquisite is LP opener “Long Halls,” with its jingle-jangle tones and Scott’s sparklingly clear guitar, to say nothing of a crescendo of an ending that make me want to raise my hands into the air in sheer surrender to the beauty of it all. “Simpletons” highlights the hushed tones of Scott and Woodward singing in synch, and reminds me of a Feelies’ tune, what with its joyous beat that goes on and on, a drone with a grin.

“See Right Through Me” is slower but every bit as lovely, especially when Scott and Woodward sing in tandem. “I see the light/Come shining through” they sing, while Scott sings that he shouldn’t care if people can see right through him. “It’s Not the Same” isn’t a speedwagon either, and it’s the only tune on the LP I’m not thrilled by. But “In the Subway,” is a winner, with full drone in effect and Scott’s guitar riding roughshod over the martial drumbeat. Once again I get a case of The Feelies, but that’s a good thing—I mean, who doesn’t love The Feelies? Point them out to me and I’ll hit ‘em, as Lou Reed once sang, with a flower!

“Fingers of Dawn” has an elegiac feel to it, and is as lovely as the nun, exquisite and untouchable, who used to stop at the gas station I worked at back in the day. “I’ve no need for clocks,” sings Scott, “They just keep ticking,” and he’s right because this song is timeless. “Spacejunk” is a small miracle, galloping along like a eureka moment prolonged, with Scott making beautiful noises on his guitar that don’t so much interrupt the drone as enhance it. Meanwhile, “On the Bank” starts quietly but reaches orgiastic heights thanks to Scott’s guitar, and will make you want to drink a bottle of red wine along the banks of the Thames, only getting drunk never sounded this good. (Okay, so it did. But you can listen to this one without smashing your car into a tree.)

The instrumental “Canopy” is an atmospheric demonstration of the sonic possibilities of your plain old electric guitar, as Scott squeezes beatitude out of every note. Meanwhile, “When the Day Comes” is tres pretty, especially when Woodward joins Scott on vocals, while “Getting Over You” is a simply ditty that takes a fatalistic look at love (“Oh, it’s tragic/But that’s the way it goes”).

The Bats have one of the most consistent track records in rock, having never recorded anything for well over 30 years that I consider less than top-notch. But personally, I think Free All The Monsters is the best of them. And that in itself is a minor miracle; a band doing its finest work more than three decades after their formation. I love The Bats because they make me happy, and I want them to make you happy too. I want everyone to be happy. I’m crazy that way, deluded, cracked. But give Free All The Monsters a listen and you just may join me in the asylum, which is where I wrote this review while my fellow patients danced, and smiled, and hummed along, as glad as I am that The Bats are out there, flitting across the rock scene, the only mammals capable of true flight.

GRADED ON A CURVE:
A

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