Graded on a Curve:
The Allman Brothers Band, Win, Lose or Draw

On this 1975 bad hand of an album, the Allman Brothers proved, if nothing else, they’re lousy poker players. They went all in without so much as a single pair to play, and by so doing lost the big stack of chips they’d won on such legendary LPs as 1971’s Live at the Fillmore East, 1972’s Eat a Peach, and 1973’s Brothers and Sisters. In the words of a certain country musician turned roast chicken restaurant magnate, you’ve got know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, and know when to run away. The Allman Brothers should have run like Hell.

Band fractures were part of it. Gregg Allman had run off to LA to marry Cher, who quickly realized she had a train wreck on her hands and gave him the heave-ho in about as much time as it takes to mow your lawn. The rest of the guys resented his desertion, most likely because they’d never thought to marry Cher, and slapped this shitty collection of half-ass songs together to get back at him. I’m making all of this up, mind you, but it’s always hard to lay a finger on why a legendary band at the top of its form up and decides to suck.

The songs on Win, Lose or Draw aspire to competence and almost succeed–for the large part they’re C- minus stuff, and guitarist/vocalist Dickey Betts bears a large part of the blame. The best the same fella who gave us “Ramblin’ Man,” “Blue Sky,” “Melissa,” and “Jessica” can do is the formulaic “Just Another Love Song,” the desultory “Louisiana Lou and Three Card Monty John,” and the 14–plus-minutes jam “High Falls.”

Paul McCartney famously asserted that there’s nothing wrong with silly love songs, but he had nothing to say about dull ones like “Just Another Love Song.” When it comes to lovelorn Southern boys I’ll take the Marshall Tucker Band’s “Heard It in a Love Song” any day. In a similar vein, “Louisiana Lou and Three Card Monty John” is a musical scam and does a grave disservice to grifters and card sharks everywhere, which isn’t to say Betts’ guitar ain’t fetching. As for the instrumental “High Falls,” it’s a pale imitation of “Jessica,” but I can think of worse ways to spend 14 minutes. Betts plays a lot of tasty licks, but the song lacks the swing of “Jessica,” to say nothing of its sheer joy factor.

The Allman’s lackluster cover of Billy Joe Shaver’s bluesy “Sweet Mama” lacks bite; Dicky Betts is a lot of a things, but a blues singer he’s ain’t. Similarly, the band’s take on Muddy Waters’ “Can’t Lose What You Never Had” carefully filters out the grit of the original. Gregg’s keyboards are as bright as a set of teeth under black light, and there ain’t a touch of honest emotion in sight.

As for the soulless “Nevertheless,” it’s a spavined horse trudging the road of mediocrity, and about as memorable as an insurance claims examiner’s retirement party. Which leaves us with the band’s ace in the hole, the title track. It alone is worth repeated listening; Allman sounds genuinely world-weary, Betts’ tasteful guitar adds texture, and the chorus is positively heartbreaking.

When you consider what the Allman Brothers brought to the poker table–a great vocalist, one of the finest guitarists and songwriters in the business, and one of the best backing bands in existence–it’s hard to believe they didn’t win the kitty on Win, Lose or Draw. Instead they drew the dead man’s hand–minus the aces and eights.

GRADED ON A CURVE:
C-

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