10 Hysterically Funny Reviews of Led Zeppelin IV by 10 People Who Hate It

Over the weekend I stopped into Rasputin Music in downtown San Francisco to do some record shopping. I came across a copy of Led Zeppelin IV, one of my all-time favorite records that for some reason I did not own on vinyl. I must have listened to this album over a million times in my life and seriously never get tired of it.

So I put it on last night, cranked it up and started to browse the web as I always do. I ended up reading reviews for this classic album and stumbled upon Amazon. There are over 1000 reviews of Zeppelin’s masterpiece. Most are the well-deserved glowing 5 star reviews, but wait, there were 73 one star reviews? Are there people out there who don’t like this record enough to give it more than a one star review?

There are indeed, and I was so blown away that I read all 73 of them, pulling together the best ones. They read like a comedy routine of sorts, but I swear to you that these are all real quotes from the actual reviews; bad grammar, bad punctuation, and generally bad taste.  With that being said, enjoy a real life Spinal Tap roast of one of the biggest selling records in history. (Best enjoyed when read with an authentic Nigel Tufnel accent.)

“Yes I know some people gave this album five stars but I’ve seen some five star reviews for the movie Howard The Duck here.”

“This mostly ridiculous and overblown record marks the end of Led Zeppelin’s usefulness.” 

“I cannot believe people saying that Led Zeppelin, and in particular this album, are “rock n roll”. That’s just not true-Led Zepplelin are really primarily a pop group. If you like Led Zeppelin you’ll like N Sync or Back Street Boys.”

“Please, for the love of God, someone cut out Robert Plant’s vocal chords.”

“How ironic that one of the all time greatest rock album’s of all time should go untitled. “

“This frothy prattle is for jerkwads who pepper everyday conversations with Pippi Longstocking and J.R.R. Tolkien references. Jimmy Page’s approach to the guitar is akin to a suburban dad trying to crank up a flooded weedwacker.”

“What truly amazes me is that you pot smokin’ gearheads actually have the money to buy cd’s not to mention computers.”

“Imagine a 30 year obsession with the Teenage Mutanat Ninja Turtles, multiply it by 10 and you’ve got the annoyance factor of Led Zeppelin.”


“Even Appetite for  Destruction by Guns N’ Roses is better than this. Go get that. That rocks, this sucks!! Throw is in your trash can immediately.”

And a bonus review: (by the way, the spelling errors and bad grammar are all tell-tale signs of the level of intelligence we are dealing with here.)

“For truly inspiring music just listen to Korn, Slipknot, Atreyu, Avenged Sevenfold, or any emo/hardcore or nu metal band out there… MTV is the place for good music.”

Which review is your favorite? Please chime in with a comment below. Thanks for reading!

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  • Treilly

    Hilarious! I personally liked the Howard the Duck reference. To each his own…

  • Tnagrl

    “For truly inspiring music…..”???????? Wth?! How?! Why?!
    MTV?! My head hurts…

  • Tnagrl

    “For truly inspiring music…..”???????? Wth?! How?! Why?!
    MTV?! My head hurts…

  • http://www.facebook.com/Boogiebobsrecords Bob Bergmann

    No Clues here

  • Steven eats quiche

    MTV? It used to be music videos. Call it what it really is: unreality tv. Music. Except for indie radio stations,new groups, internet radio, the music all sounds alike from mainstream music and music shows on tv. Led Zep IV, a CLASSIC album, when they still had albums with artwork. How many good groups will tell you Led Zep and album IV was INSTRUMENTAL in them starting a band and their music style.
    Duck. I’ll cook it and eat it.

  • Uncle e

    I’l bet one of the guys name is Alan WIlliamson. He’s notorious for reviews like the above. Here’s some others:
    PURPLE RAIN, BY PRINCE: “Nobody likes a show-off,
    particularly one who falsely refers to himself as a prince and who
    produces trash like this. When Doves Cry is an unashamed rip off of MC
    Hammer’s excellent Pray and the title track is far too long for my
    liking. Save your money.”

    Astral WEAK, more like! You’d have to be an absolute idiot to enjoy
    this. It doesn’t even have Brown Eyed Girl which is the only half decent
    thing Mr Morrison ever did. And what sort of name is Van? Stick to
    Ronan Keating for that bit of Irish soul.”

    This isn’t funny! If I went around saying “Ni” thinking I was some kind
    of great comedian rather than laugh people would point me towards the
    nearest lunatic asylum! Try some comedy which actually makes sense like
    the Vicar of Dibley.”

    of the songs here are pleasant enough but Mr Marley is no Chaka Demus
    and Pliers. It is also disappointing to note that Mr Marley reportedly
    took drugs during his lifetime.”

    played, Mr. McCartney! When compiling this retrospective ‘best of’
    compilation Mr McCartney wisely ignored all of his output from his ill
    advised stint with the Beatles and selected songs purely from his solo
    career and his other band Wings. Let ‘Em In, Mull of Kintyre and of
    course the Frog Chorus are true classics not to be missed. Get it now!”

    these lovely ladies burst onto the scene with Mmmmbop back in the
    nineties it was obvious they had a classic on their hands. The other
    songs on this marvellous album stand up just as well and I think people
    will still be talking about Middle of Nowhere 100 years from now.
    Verdict: very good indeed

    And, my personal favorite, a
    review on the Beatles Revolver, which is when I came to the obvious
    realization that this cat was brilliantly putting me, and the rest of
    the so-called ’serious’ reviewers, on:

    buys this? This is bad even by the Beatles standards. Not even Yellow
    Submarine or Ringo’s excellent drumming can save this one I’m afraid.
    Verdict: avoid.”

  • http://www.electricminnowmusic.com/ Jojo

    @Uncle e Revolver review just made me laugh uncontrollably for many minutes. good stuff.


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