Stephanie Nilles: The TVD NOLA Spotlight Week

Stephanie Nilles is a DIY artist who has worked all over the country. She has experience with the good, the bad, and the ugly in the music business particularly with respect to club owners. Having spent considerable time in clubs all over the world, I can relate directly to her pleadings about how to do right by hard working musicians.

Hey, music venues! Here’s how to book a show. A plea on behalf of musicians everywhere:

1. Hire a promoter. Preferably one who knows your surrounding community, how to advertise to them, what kind of shows work and what kind do not. Seriously. It worked for generations. It still works now (in Europe), but none of you do it. Suck it up. It’s worth the money.

2. Make sure your booker does something in your venue other than book your venue. Maybe they are a bartender at your venue. Maybe they are the owner of your venue. Maybe they come into the venue every early evening and book from the venue. Either way it works out for everyone best if the booker of your venue actually attends shows at your venue. The last thing a musician who packed the house the last time they played at your venue wants to hear is, “Have you played here before?” or “We can’t book you if you don’t have a draw.” Get to know who’s working for you. Help us help you.

3. Do not make a list on your venue’s website with booking instruction bullet points, one of which reads something snarky and meaningless like, “Help us help you.” It will cause us to exit your website immediately, tell our friends you’re douche bags, and never come to your venue, either as a performer or a listener.

Art by Sophia Wiedeman

4. Do not make your bands pay for PBR. I understand that a 10-piece band with its little heart set on becoming the next Arcade Fire should not come into a venue, put on a shitty show, and expect 3 rounds of Patron. Totally get that. But to make your bands pay for PBR? Really? How much does it cost you to sell PBR to your non-performing patrons? Negative money is what it costs you. You make a huge profit by selling a can of PBR for anything more than a nickel. Just give your bands a case of tall boys and a knife and let them divvy it up.

5. Do not even try to pull that “We only allow our musicians to play free shows” in conjunction with “We have a two drink minimum” bullshit. That’s just bad business. I don’t care if your rent is more than you paid for your first adopted child. That’s your problem, not your musicians’ problem. You’re the idiot who decided to move to New York and open your first business on the lower east side of Manhattan. You know who thinks that way? Girls who watched a lot of Sex in the City in college and moved there to fall in love.

Grow up. You deserve to get paid for the drinks you sell. Arguably, you deserve to be able to stay in business. But your musicians also deserve to get paid for the work that they do. Therefore, the clients (listeners) they pulled in to hear them work (play) should not be under an obligation to reward their work (show and promotion of said show) by paying you (money for drinks). If this is still confusing, I will make you a pie chart.

6. This is less a 6th point than it is an overview. If ever you have a few minutes of free time, construct a list of small music venues in your area that have been in business for more than 10 years. Every single one of them has a built-in crowd. Every single one of them has this built-in crowd because they adhered primarily to points 1 and 2, and 99% of the time, points 3-5. They booked talented musicians who worked for them and allowed them to steadily build a following in their venue. This strategy resulted in a cultivated reputation for booking good talent at every show, and therefore in a group of loyal patrons. It also resulted in a cultivated reputation for non-douchery, and therefore in a loyal group of performers.

Do the right thing. The right thing is never the easiest thing, but it is often the kindest and most business savvy thing.

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