Do you think the lads in this English beat band wondered why they never made it big? You’d think someone—their manager for instance—would have informed them that band names are supposed to be catchy. Or, failing that, not so long you need write them on the palm of your hand with indelible ink to remember them. There was a reason The Monkees didn’t call themselves Mickey, Davy, Peter & Mike—the moguls behind the curtain wanted to sell records.
Believe it or not—or so I’ve been told—the band’s unwieldy name was an actual selling point in England, where they scored seven Top Ten hits between 1966 and 1967. By contrast only one of their singles broke into the Top 100 in the United States, in small part because unlike Herman’s Hermits’ “Henry 8th,” the novelty songs on 1966’s If Music Be the Food of Love… Prepare for Indigestion are crap. Literally in the case of “Loos of London,” a subpar Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band imitation (sung in a very posh accent) extolling the superiority of the English toilet.
Similarly, the anti-homage to their private school principal “Master Llewellyn” doesn’t hold a ruler to Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher” or Elton John’s “Teacher I Need You.” And finally we have the unspeakable “Hair on My Chin-Chinny-Chin (Huff N Puff),”a vapid adaptation of the children’s story featuring some kind of awful Balkan guitar riff.
But let’s not write off Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich completely. If Music Be the Food of Love… Prepare for Indigestion is more than just a cleverly jaded album title—it includes some songs well worth hearing. “Bang” owes a definite debt to The Beatles—especially in the harmonies department—but it’s undeniably catchy, has a banging chorus, and highlights the fuzz bass of Trevor “Dozy” Davies and explosive guitar solo of Ian “Tich” Amey. And Davies’ punch-to-the-ear bass is right up front on garage rocker “Hands Off,” on which lead vocalist Dave Dee sounds ready to rumble, warning you in no uncertain terms to stop messing around with his baby or… well, he doesn’t say what, exactly.
The LP’s definite highlight is “You Make It Move,” a shameless Beatles rip if there ever was one, right down to the uncanny Paul McCartney imitation. But what makes the song extra-special—in addition to its nasty fuzz guitar—is it almost certainly not-so-hidden sexual connotations. It may be the most blatant song about penile hydraulics released in the mid-sixties. It actually reached #26 on the UK pop charts, and one can only wonder how this wonderful contribution to hard-on rock slipped past the England’s notoriously prim music censors.
“I’m on the Up” could well be penis-related as well. Musically, Ken Howard–who is neither Dave Dee, Doxy, Beaky, Mick or Tich—takes the lead on piano, and for the life of me I don’t know why he’s not part of the band name. If it were up to me I’d name him Snorky. Oh, and we also have “Bend It,” which could be conceivably have something to do with the male member. But who wants to have their penis bent? It sounds agonizing. Or am I missing something?
“All I Want” is a mid-tempo plaint; Dave Dee doesn’t care if she has a Mona Lisa smile, or dresses in style even, perhaps because he’d prefer to see her in the nude. The song is no embarrassment but it’s certainly nothing special, which is no doubt the reason why it failed to chart in England. Say what you want about Swinging London’s early teen cohort, but they recognized mediocrity when they heard it. On the uptempo “Hideaway”—which comes with some great reverb guitar—the boys prove they can rock. Amey’s guitar solo is particularly impressive.
Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich’s If Music Be the Food of Love… Prepare for Indigestion is an artifact, a mostly unlistened to album by a mostly unlistened to band, and as such will appeal primarily to collectors and aficionados of the arcana of the era. But songs like “Bang,” “Hands Off,” and “You Make It Move” deserve a listen. They most likely won’t make it move, but if they do I suggest you seek a psychiatrist.
GRADED ON A CURVE:
C+
