This review does not end well. And how could it? Van Halen replaced David Lee Roth with a radish!
The result? One of the most demoralizing drop-offs in album quality in rock history. 1984 was a party, and even a hardcore guy like me got an invite. Follow-up 5150 was a staid and joyless affair, and heavily laden with the kinds of straight-faced AOR pop-shlock moves Roth wouldn’t have been caught dead singing. From “Jump” to “Love Walks In” is a quantum leap into a rancid vat of suck.
Say what you will about Diamond Dave, call him a buffoon or a bimbo, there’s no denying he’s a great American original. Sammy Hagar, on the other hand, is Everyman, and with him up front Van Hagar became Everyband–just another hard rock crew with crossover ambitions and an insurmountable anonymity problem. Talk about your Red Menaces–substitute the Red Rocker for Roth and what you have in 5150 is an album with all the charm of East Germany–it’s songs vary from dystopian drab to totalitarian gray.
5150 has literally nothing to recommend it aside from the guitar pyrotechnics of Mr. Valerie Bertinelli–with the exception of “Get Up,” even the hard rockers lack bite and pizzazz. There isn’t a “Jump” in the bunch. Hell, there isn’t a “Top Jimmy” in the bunch. Take away Diamond Dave, and Van Halen becomes one very generic proposition–think Survivor with better guitar solos.
5150’s three grace notes–and they’re minor ones for sure–are as follows:
Port Macquarie, AU | We Shall Overcome record signed by Martin Luther King found in Port Macquarie worth up to $25,000: A record, personally signed by assassinated civil rights leader, Dr Martin Luther King Jr, is ‘a pretty rare find’ and could be worth up to $25,000. The 1961 released Folkways Record, ‘We Shall Overcome’, features songs by the Montgomery Gospel Trio and the Nashville Quartet with Guy Carawan. It is not unusual in itself, but the signature makes it hot property, according to Port Macquarie record store owner Travis Fredericks. The signatures featured on the album of King and human rights activist Bernard Lafayette are very special. “It’s not the record but the signatures on it that are so significant,” said Mr Fredericks. “These guys were obviously 
Telluride, CO | Sunshine daydream: Every time I go to Tyler, Texas to visit family, I make time to frequent Sunshine Records. I never leave empty-handed. Packed to the brim with crate upon crate of used records redolent of grandma’s cellar, I lose track of time when I’m digging there. If members of my family are in tow, my visits are curtailed. I intuit when their boredom sets in and make my way to the cash register. Except there isn’t a cash register. It’s just the owner, Don, a cool dude, T-shirted and about my age, who disappears behind wobbling stacks of boxes and returns with my change. Sunshine is not a perfect record shop. I love it because I’ve found some absolute gems there, but when I visit, all I can think about is 
BOOK PICK: Rachel Alina, Ashley Smestad Vélez and Birdie Busch, Locals // If You Swim Far Enough (Styles Upon Styles) Locals is a collaborative illustrated chapbook of narratively linked poems; the words are Alina’s, the black & white drawings rendered by Vélez, and it’s a treat of a quick read detailing the author’s youth/ early adulthood in and around her hometown of Ocean City, NJ and her loose apprenticeship as a recording engineer at Scullville Studios (she has subsequently mixed numerous releases on Styles Upon Styles). Alina’s poetry is vivid but direct, effectively relating her experiences, while Vélez’s illustrations, which remind me a bit (but just a bit) of R. Pettibon, enhance the poems (and the storyline of sorts) by expanding upon elements of the text in occasionally unexpected ways.
NEW RELEASE PICK: Luka Productions, Falaw (Sahel Sounds) Based in Bamako, Mali, Luka Guindo is Luka Productions, and this is his third full-length. Succinctly described as a leading producer in Malian hip-hop, Guindo has employed a highly productive approach in his own work by combining the tech-infused sound of the now with traditional Malian musics. His records feature organic instrumentation including ngoni, djembe, kora, and balafon. Falaw is no different, though it’s distinct in flavor from his prior effort, the “New Age” (Craig Leon-influenced) Fasokan; what’s clear is that Guindo’s creative engine is nowhere close to running low on gas. Falaw is loaded with diversity as it rolls, and if somebody cooked up a 25-minute extended 12-inch remix of “Indienfoli” I’d buy five copies. A-
Spiral Wave Nomads, S/T (Twin Lakes / Feeding Tube) It seems like only yesterday that I made the acquaintance of More Klementines, a psychedelically robust trio featuring drummer and Twin Lakes co-founder Michael Kiefer; that band’s self-titled debut, like this one, was a co-release with Feeding Tube. Spiral Wave Nomads are the duo of Kiefer, who’s also played in Myty Konkeror, Rivener, and No Line North, and Eric Hardiman of Burnt Hills and Century Plants. While Kiefer’s attention remains focused on the drums, Hardiman plays bass, sitar, and double tracks his main instrument, the guitar. This lends the record a full-band feel that’s lacking the unfocused spillage that can result from too many hands. This set is rock-edged but outbound (of course) and not too heavy. It’s never cheesy, not even the sitar. A-
Withington, UK | Popular Withington music shop looks set to start serving booze – here’s what locals are saying: Wilderness Records opened on Egerton Crescent last month. Plans to serve alcohol at a new Withington record shop could be signed off next week – but they have divided opinion in the borough. Local councillors back the proposal, saying the recently-opened shop could become a ‘focal point’ for Withington village and that the owners have a successful track record in the city. But the council’s licensing team want the application refused, arguing that it could lead to increased anti-social behaviour. One resident said it could set a ‘totally inappropriate’ precedent for bars off the main high street. Wilderness Records opened on Egerton Crescent last month, with a party on Record Store Day. Its bosses, who also own Junkyard Golf Club, are now asking for permission to serve alcohol at the premises until 10pm each evening. They’re also planning on doubling the size of the space and introducing 
St. Louis, MO | SOHO Record Shop Brings Eclectic Mix of Vinyl to Manhattan Antique Mall: When kicking off a new business venture — a record store within a north county antique mall, let’s say — it’s always a good sign when you have a line waiting outside the doors before you’re even open. “This morning an associate sent me a message that says, ‘There’s twenty people waiting in a line outside,'” says Graham Swimmer of Saturday’s grand opening of SOHO Record Shop at Manhattan Antique Marketplace (10431 St Charles Rock Road, St. Ann; 314-733-5285). “I said, ‘Oh wow!'” Swimmer is a managing partner of the massive St. Ann-based antique mall, and for the past two weeks, as preparations were being made to open the new record store within its walls, his whole life has been vinyl. Tasked with sorting through the 5,000-piece record collection he and his partners had amassed for the store, he’s 
Adelaide, AU | Vinyl Squeeze bucks the trend and proves Adelaide still loves a great record store: Sadly, in recent times, there has been more of a need to report on the closure of record and CD stores as they lose their fight against the dual digital enemy of streaming and downloading than there has been on celebrating the arrival of new music retailers. Eighteen months ago, Craig Siviour (aka Cragos to his regulars) after a decade of meticulous planning, bucked the trend and opened Vinyl Squeeze at Gilles Plains confident that there was sufficient demand for a quality vinyl retailer in the north-eastern suburbs of Adelaide. A visit to the store immediately confirms that this is a store sure to please record collectors. There is a huge range of new and second-hand vinyl albums and 45s. The back room also has a wide selection of second-hand CDs and music DVDs, books and tapes. And the 
Kent, UK | Owners to sell Herne Bay record store B’side the C’side: A 65-year-old who has been living his boyhood fantasy of owning a record store has put his beloved shop on the market. Martin Eastman and wife Chris have been running B’side the C’side in Herne Bay High Street since 2013. But they have decided to relocate to Essex and placed an asking price of £350,000 on the freehold for the store. “We’ve lived the dream,” Mr Eastman said. “I’ve wanted to own one ever since I bought my first record in 1962. We originally came from Essex and are going back to be nearer our family. “It is a shame, but we’re trying to sell it as a going concern because we believe every town should have a record shop, especially a vinyl one.” The business has been on the market since January and the couple is hoping to up sticks by the end of the year. Mr Eastman insists his business has been unaffected by the rise of music downloads and streaming platforms, such as Spotify and Amazon Music. Instead, he believes vinyl has become increasingly popular among people between 
